Monday, September 29, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Mike's fortune tonight said "You're troubles are over and good fortune will now smile upon you".
Chris' fortune said "All your hard work spent now will result in success for you".
When I was pregnant with Lindsay but didn't know it yet I got a fortune that said my biggest dream was on it's way to me (basically Lindsay) and Mike got one basically saying to not harass his wife for sometime in the near future...Can't remember the exact wording but we had a good laugh over it.
Sorry Robin, I was a putz the last two days and didn't take a single picture of Brooke (is that second child syndrome??) I better get on it huh? We did spend all day with her today. Took her to church and brunch at her grandparents. Had her dressed up cute as a button today too and no pics....bad mommy! I promise to get some new stuff soon.
Lindsay had a blast this weekend at her Aunt Patti's. We've talked to her on the phone and she sounded so happy. I'm sure my sis and bro in law have had their ears talked off by now. Can't wait to see her again one day this week. She told my sis this weekend "I'm going home when Mommy is all better and that will be VERY SOON". I tell you that kid doesn't miss a trick!
I have my doc appt tomorrow to follow up about the gall stones. I'll update about that but for now no more pain! We'll see how I do tonight after Chinese food. You know I had Sesame chicken Karen! So far, so good! I figure it won't flare up til January 1, 2009 just so I'll have to cough up a new 250.00 deductible! HA! No more sickness next year! Please!!!
Mother Nature came to call for the first time in a year..HA! Guess that explains my last poopy post and why I've been grumping around the last three days.
I sort of called it yesterday but I feel like my body is not my own these days so I wasn't 100% sure I was right. Nothing has changed on that end of the spectrum since the aneurysm...PMS sucks!
On a better note Brooke slept from 11:30 last night til 8:30 this morning! GO BROOKE! She's been smiling a lot more and really has been great with us the last two days. We're getting ready to take her and meet Grandma and Grandpa at Church later this morning. Then she's going back to her aunt and uncle for a few days again, so we can get through this weeks doc appts and therapy appts.
Mike is doing much better though I think he overdid some this weekend with the limo's. We had a group take the black hummer out to the GA/Bama game last night for the ultimate tailgate. Mike didn't have to drive it but prepping the cars etc and rocking Brooke has him walking more stiff again. He has to be 100% better before we can think of bringing either girl home full time.
We're down to two more weeks before Brooke's baptism! Hope everyone else is having a good weekend! More soon!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Sorry for venting. I'm extremely grateful for the miracle that I'm able to vent here and that overall we're ok over here in sick land. I just need both my girls home and some of the post traumatic stress of the aneurysm to go away!
Thursday, September 25, 2008
I'm doing very well. Haven't had to take any pain meds today. I had therapy and didn't want to go doped up on percocet and even though I'm still having some nagging pain on my right side it's not enough to justify a percocet in my book. I'm trying some Tylenol this evening and have cut back on my diet again today. We'll see how I do after dinner tonight.
I just wanted to put up a blurb to let everyone know I'm doing ok so there would be no worries.
Thanks again to everyone!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Yesterday I woke up with pain on my right side just under my ribs and went to the doctor around 3 p.m. Turns out he scheduled me to have a right upper quadrant ultrasound today b/c he thought maybe I had gallstones from the rapid weight loss I experienced. I didn't fess up about this last night on the blog because I didn't want to get everyone back in drama mode over me, sorry! Well, at 5 a.m. this morning I woke up in worse pain and rather than ignore it (as I did the pre aneurysm headache) I had Mike drive me to the ER at NSH. Turns out my doc was right and I DO have Gallstones. SERIOUSLY! The wonderful Hollywood weight loss I've been smacking about since I got home bit me in the side! Apparently they don't do anything when you have stones other than send you home with percocet and see how you do. I go back to my internist next week and we'll discuss how I'm doing. If the pain eases up (on my new low fat diet) I may go on with no other issues. If the stones tend to plague me I may end up having to find a general surgeon, to add to my list of surgeons, to remove my gallbladder. NO JOKE. I'm telling you all if I HAVE to have it done I want it done this year!! Of course we've already met our out of pocket for the year and why carry over this medical crap into 2009?? I swear I feel like a hypochondriac at this point on the blog.
I'm doing ok this evening but I've only had liquids and some yogurt since the ER. I've been having a little twinge here and there of pain but not as bad as this morning. I'm really praying that since I'm leveling off and putting some weight back on maybe the stones will be quiet in there and not cause me more grief. I was slightly freaking out in the ER today when they gave me the IV pain meds. I wasn't sure how they were going to make my head feel etc. I did ok with it. Mostly I was just paranoid and trying not to have a panic attack about being hospitalized again! It was great to see some of my co workers though. Word travels fast, several people came to see me today and it was so nice to see people I knew when I was stressed out waiting for results. At Emory I didn't know anyone and it felt so foreign to be in that boat even though everyone there was phenominally nice to me.
So there you have it...more drama in the house of Bresnan! To all my powered prayer people out there please send up something that keeps me from adding another surgery to my list!!
Thank you sooooooooo much!
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Tonight Mike and I headed to his parents for dinner and a visit with Lindsay. We brought the dress I bought her MONTHS ago that she is supposed to wear to Brooke's Baptism. WOOHOO...it fits her and so do her shoes (barely)! The other good news is my MIL had Brooke the other day and they tried her in the Baptism gown and said she fits just fine! So I'm much happier about those two issues. (Since I'm such a planner and all that...)
She really liked her dress and twirled for us and did not want to take it off. We had an interesting conversation about what Brooke's Baptism was but she mostly caught the fact that we'd be having cake at church afterward and pretty much was stuck in that mode for the rest of the conversation.Here is Lindsay looking at her own picture in our church directory. She's really liking mom's helmet...now she wants the chin strap buttoned every time.
" Can you believe mom has to wear this thing out in public??"
Linds was a total chatter box tonight. She has complete conversations now and there is no misunderstanding if you're around her just a little while. Aunt Patti called tonight and Lindsay asked her (unprompted) if she was coming to pick her up. She said "Are you coming to get me, Aunt Patti" and Pat said "Oh yes, I'm coming to get you soon" and Lindsay got so excited she ran and put her book away and ran back to the phone and said "I'm ready Aunt Pat, come get me" She was so excited. It was adorable. She's ready for a trip to visit with Aunt Patti and Uncle Steve BIG TIME! Not that she's not spoiled rotten at her grandparents house. She had another great visit mostly on my lap tonight and still did not cry when we had to leave. She blew kisses and waved bye bye to us and was just fine. She told me again tonight "I wanna come home with you mommy" and I told her "you will soon"! Just not sure how soon we'll be ready for both girls to be home. Mike is still recovering and moving slow at times. I'm getting stronger each day and I'm seeing such progress in my body strength. This weekend I discovered that I can squat down, sit on the floor and get up by myself now without holding on to something for balance or assistance. I couldn't do that last week in Physical therapy. I showed off on that today at my rehab appt too. It was great! I've gained back 12 pounds of the weight I lost (sort of bummed by that in a small way) though my therapist told me "of course you're going to gain back some weight as you put back on muscle". So that is my story...it's ALL muscle now! LOL! Too bad you can't lose weight that fast and just keep it off no matter what. I guess that only works in HOLLYWOOD...
At any rate I'm completely enamored by my 27 month old daughter and I am missing the heck out of my baby Brooke who I'm not going to see for two more days. This has got to be the hardest thing I've ever endured being away from my girls that I've wanted since I was a girl myself. Mike keeps telling me that it's what we need to do now and it will all be worth it in the end. I'll have them for the rest of my life which thankfully has been extended by a miracle and a reason I've yet to discover!
Aunt Kimmie with Lindsay!
The girls hanging out on my neighbors porch swing.
Brooke's first Limo ride...(of course we put her inside)
Sisters hanging out on the limo
Sisters hanging out IN the limo
Brooke decided she could sleep while we went to get ice cream at Brusters.
Kimmie with both girls...
Lindsay bonding with Kaley about being the "Big Sister"
My fave pic of Lindsay running up and down the stairs after her ice cream.
This was the night before I had the aneurysm. Hard to believe the next day completely changed our lives...Thankfully I'm finally getting the opportunity to post these pics!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Anyway, our priest came to see me at Emory several times and I remembered to ask him how the new church opening went the week after it happened. I also was bummed out because we had missed Brooke's Baptism date which was supposed to be 8/17. She would have most likely been the first baby Baptized in the new church. We now have it rescheduled for the 11th of next month...her three month birthday. Good Lord willing (or my mother-in-law willing) we'll squeeze her into the family Baptism gown on that day!!
At any rate, I'm all over the place here. Mike and I had an emotional experience at church today. I lost it right before the sign of peace and all the people I shook hands with were wondering why I was crying at this point in the Mass. The choir sang Amazing Grace during communion and that didn't help things at all for me. The new sanctuary was so overwhelming and beautiful Mike and I both cried as we walked around and looked after most everyone else left. One of the deacons that we haven't seen in a while came up to us and prayed over us and even he was having trouble staying composed. I just felt so happy to finally see the church and to be there and Thank Heaven I made it. I have been looking forward to getting back there since ICU when Father and I talked about it. So all in all I was an emotional mess. Once Mike lost it a little bit I was even worse. I'm so glad we went with no babies today since the girls are both with family we made it a time for us as a couple and then went and had lunch afterword.
I even got Mike to agree to a vow renewal in four years (when we hit our 10 year wedding anniversary) he was so moved! (By the way Mike, I have it on tape!)
Neither of us can imagine how awesome Brooke's Baptism is going to be in three weeks~
It was an emotional day but I needed it and I think WE needed it together!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Brooke got her Aunt KK time too. Lindsay is KK's "Doodle Bug" and Brooke has been dubbed "Snuggle Bug"
Here is a pic of Brooke from yesterday hanging out in the recliner.
Friday, September 19, 2008
Homecoming Day for Brooke-I had these set up to put on the blog and never got to do it. I felt the need to finish off the cycle of Brooke's hosptial days and her homecoming day so here it is... Aunt Patti got Brooke dressed and ready so we could take photos
Daddy tried to get some good shots in the homecoming outfit
Thanks Missy for finding this outfit and sweet booties for her
This is one of my fave shots of me and Brooke
I was amazed at how tiny she looked in the car seat!
Check out that pose...she still is so funny with her poses
YAY Aunt Patti is helping us get discharged and home!
Momma and baby girl heading out finally!
We checked in on Donna at work on the way out the door
We stopped at the daycare on the way home and let everyone come check Brooke out in the car.
They were awesome to put up a sign announcing Lindsay was a big sis even though she wasn't still attending school at the time! They've been phenominal to us throughout everything too.
I wanted to take this photo but Brooke wasn't in the mood...
Thursday, September 18, 2008
S lowly I wake, no memories of hours past.
U nbelievable circumstances, I did outlast.
R ecovering and healing both lie ahead.
V ictim, not I, but survivor, not dead.
I mpossible to grasp or want to know,
V ery scared and hopeful, both high and low.
O ut of this illness, this tragedy, this pain,
R eal strength, real courage, and real love will remain.
- written by H. Karp another subarachnoid aneurysm survivor
Things have been going right along over here in rehab land. Mike is doing well with his recovery. I got to go to his post op appointment with him yesterday and finally meet the surgeon who worked on him. As we were leaving I had my first little kid ask his mom loudly "WHY IS THAT LADY WEARING A HELMET MA?" It was funny. Mike and I were laughing as we walked out and saw the mom in the "SHHH..." crisis mode! I should have turned around and told him I was heading home on my skateboard and where was HIS helmet?
Mike is moving a little slower in the evenings but he's hanging in there. The night before last he over did it a bit with little Miss Brooke who was wanting to be rocked ALL evening. We're getting Brooke again tonight so we'll see how Daddy feels tomorrow. We're still sharing her with her Aunt and Uncle who have more than made room in their lives for my and Mike's recovery. Lindsay is still doing well at camp grandparents and going to her other Aunt and Uncles on the weekends. It feels at times like I'm never going to have everyone that is supposed to be under my roof back together but I'm refusing to let those thoughts invade me. Everyone is doing what they can to get well and live life and that's the focus.
My outpatient rehab is going well. The PT girl has been really working my legs. I can almost squat down and stand back up without holding onto something to support my weight. I've been doing wall squats, lunges and treadmill walking primarily. Occupational therapy has been working more with my upper body strength. Needless to say I come home from those classes wiped! I'm noticing changes in myself just since I've gotten home almost two weeks ago. I couldn't have picked anything up off the floor two weeks ago unless I did it with my toes (which I call the pregnant way and I was skilled!) Now, I can bend down and pick up shoes or socks off the floor without squatting as long as I keep my head up and my chin sort of pointing up. The purpose is not to let my head go below my heart to avoid a pressure or headache feeling. Things are definitely improving.
My hair is growing like crazy. It's so funny how coarse it feels and the top is really getting thick again. Mike even keeps telling me how much he likes the silver that is definitely visible. He tells me I should keep it and stop coloring it but I think he just knows how much I pay every six weeks to cover that silver up and is looking for a way to get me to not go back to that. LOL! My hairdresser has NEVER seen me with short hair (certainly not this short) and is so excited to try out every short hairstyle on me as it's growing back out. I'm thinking that will be sort of fun as long as I can eventually cover the gray again. Unfortunately, I can't do that until I have no scar/scab tissue left showing on my scalp. That will be a good while from now since we know I've got to have one more surgery to replace the skull flap eventually. (Which also means another partial shave...UGH) You all will be sick of my hair posts before this is all over I'm sure. Sorry. At least hair grows back, right?!
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Today was a great day for me. I only took Tylenol once which was this evening because I had such a long day! I've been getting mild headaches when I visit with people too long or get talking or reading too long. Today we slept in a little and enjoyed our first day with Carol here. Carol and her husband Jeff call me their 3rd daughter and have known me since I was in tenth grade. Carol is staying with us for a little while so she can help me around the house and with Brooke and keep a watchful eye on me and make sure for my sis that I'm wearing my helmet when I'm on my feet. HA! Sorry PAT! We went to my in laws tonight since I have to take a shot once a week and my MIL is a retired nurse. She showed Mike how to do it so it's no big deal now. Hopefully I'll be off the shot in the next few weeks. Since having a baby, brain surgery and a blood transfusion I'm showing a little low on blood and have to take a shot that helps replenish red blood cells. Imagine! But that visit meant another LINDSAY visit!!!
Our first family of four picture since Mike and I had surgery!
Stretched out and Chillin'...check out those ankles. It took Lindsay over a year to get ankles!!
Grandmama has the magic touch!
Another Grandada's girl...
Lindsay has fun trying on mommy's helmet! She was so funny tonight. When it was time for me to leave and I put on the helmet she said "Mommy go ride your bike and take the back way home" Crack me up!!! She blows me away this kid!
Friday, September 12, 2008
I've had lots of questions on the phone and via email about what all happened to me and what caused it. I just wanted to say that I've been told (because I asked as well) that the pregnancy had nothing to do with my having the aneurysm. As a matter of fact, the drug I got the week before in the hospital to release a ton of the fluid my body already had stored up probably was a major factor in helping to save my life.
I had a headache since that day in the hospital. It was getting increasingly worse behind my left eye on August 4th. I had Kim and her girls in town and kept dismissing calling a doc about it. I had already decided if it wasn't better by the next day I would get seen (my usual, a day late & a dollar short). I've looked up a little on the Internet about my condition sub arachnoid aneurysm but I've scared myself doing that. So much is old information and it's not a good idea (as I found out with infertility) to surf the web for medical issues without causing panic within yourself. I can tell you that I was just plain LUCKY in so many ways.
That night Mike and Brooke and I actually all decided to sleep in the Master bedroom. So many nights with all of the medical stuff going on Mike and I have slept separate. Had he been in the living room with Brooke in the swing he would not have known that I had the seizure in the first place. There's no telling what would have happened if we had been in separate places or if I had been home alone with the kids (if he was driving a charter). I truly believe Mike played a huge part in my being where I am now. I woke up or came to a bit and talked to him while he was calling. I had the worst headache of my life at that point and kept telling him that and not to let me die. I had no idea at that point things were as serious as they were. I remember the EMS asking me if I could walk down our stairs. They basically took me down one man on each side and put me on a stretcher at the door due to our split level entry and our baby gate. The last thing I remember was begging them to take me to Northside (b'cause I work there) and them telling me we had to go to Kennestone since it was closer. I was begging for pain meds which they also could not give me. I remember nothing about Kennestone. I keep asking my family questions about different times as I feel weird having no clue or only snipets from times at Emory. I had a CT at Kennestone that showed what was going on and at that point they decided to life flight me to Emory. Mike had to drive the car and meet me there which I don't think he was to thrilled over. He did tell me later when I was in rehab that the helicopter was really cool and he tried to take a photo of it with his phone. Then he realized he was being irrational and started driving out of the parking lot. LOL!
I remember someone talking about putting me on the copter and thinking "HELL NO" but apparently I'm told I pitched a fit in real life too not just in my head! I remember nothing after that until I woke up in ICU and Pat and Mike filled me in on what happened. All this in between nurses and docs asking me every 20 minutes "Where are you", "What happened to you", "Who's president" etc. etc. I was annoyed with this procedure as well and Mike will have to blog sometime about how I earned myself the nickname "MYRNA" with one of my nurses. I guess you could say I got a little "needy" and I was watching the clock (nothing better to do) and timing pain meds etc.
I traveled a lot during August too. Hallucinogenic drugs will do that for you, especially when all you have to watch is the Olympics! I went on speed boat rides and traveled to other countries and had nightmares about Chic Fil A which I still don't understand. I know there were days when I drove Pat and Mike up the wall. I freaked when I didn't see anyone (they would be sleeping in a room right next to mine) and I had no windows so I would think 3 a.m. would be 3 p.m. and I would wake them up to see who was with me or ask for ice swabs or something to drink when I wasn't allowed to have it. Sorry guys....Myrna loves you!
I can tell you all that everyone I encountered at Emory was incredible. The doc I had was the best person I could have had for what I needed. I've had questions about that too...http://www.emoryhealthcare.org/find_physician/physician_detail.jsp?physicianid=531 This is the other man that saved my life! I wouldn't know him on the street since I remember nothing of that night but I will finally meet and thank him in October! I also want to ask him if I'll ever be able to ride a roller coaster again but I'm guessing I already know the answer to that! CRUD! That is one of my fave things to do but my PT at Emory told me I should ask anyway as you never know. Although I think it's probably a bit premature to ask that question when I haven't had my second surgery yet.
That's all I can think of for now. Please forgive this longwinded post and some of the grammar. I hope this helps answer what some of you asked about and describes that night a little from my standpoint. I really need to have Mike sit down and tell his story although I know you got a lot from the Care pages!
My only positive from the experience I'm enjoying now is that I completely lost all baby weight. Not the diet I would ever recommend but hey I'm in pre-Lindsay pants right now and I am LOVING that! I am trying to be careful since my exercise level isn't exactly where it used to be. I don't want to gain it all back in a month either! I joked the other day with my sis that another 3 weeks in ICU and I would have hit GOAL WEIGHT--she didn't find that as funny as me. But I gotta have something else besides the fact that I LIVED to harp on, don't ya'll think???
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Actually these photos came from Aunt Agatha and Uncle Paul and were taken while I was in the hospital! They were so great to take tons of pics for me and load them on my computer when I got home.
Here she is smiling for her Aunt and Uncle who were taking such good care of her.
Weight 12 pounds 4oz (Linds was 11.1)
Length 23 1/4 inches
Head 16 inches
Thank you Aunt Agatha for going with us to the doctor today. Obviously after taking care of Brooke full time for the last month I needed you there to answer all the invasive questions. Thank you to Aunt Patti for doing the dreaded shots for Mike! Agatha and I quickly left to go pay and not have to be in the room for the shot part. Although Brooke did WAY better than Lindsay usually does! GO BROOKE MARIE!
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Here you all go-Look how big she got in a month!
Today was the best!!
Lindsay told me today "You're my mommy & I'm you're Lindsay Bresnan" I totally cried!
Giving Brooke some Lovin'
She kept talking about places she'd been recently and would look at me and say "You weren't there mommy" or "mommy go next time". It was all I could do not to lose it several times but I wanted it to be a happy visit for her and I think we all did well. She let us leave (even with Brooke) and blew kisses and waved at the car. Not to bad for a 27 month old I'd say! I have one pretty smart cookie in her! We brought her a pin wheel from my yard that Karen decorated when I came home. She learned to blow on it and make it move on her own. She looked right at me and said "does this take batteries?" We all cracked up at that one. She's just so smart!
I've been getting to know my out patient rehab people this week. I'm scheduled to do Physical, Occupational and speech therapy 3 times a week for four weeks. I'm doing it at Northside Cherokee since it's an easier (stress free) drive from my house. This week was evaluation time. I met with PT and OT yesterday to eval and again today to start working. Tomorrow I meet with everyone again and my speech therapist. Speech is interesting it is a lot more logistics than what you would think. At least at Emory they really get you working on your cognitive thought. It's basically to get a person to be able to get back into planning mode and making lists etc for what you need to get done. My OT person was a lot like that today so I'm not sure what to expect from NSH yet. So this week there is something every day but after this week it should slow down a bit til the week in October when I finally see all my docs. I still have to do a follow up with my OB after Brooke (Crazy huh? that seems a year ago to me now) and I have to see my regular internist and let him know all the newest news. I get to go back to Emory early October to see my brain surgeon (how weird does that sound) to talk about what's next for me with recovery and when I get to have my next surgery to put the skull flap back on. It's so weird to me that I just went from having an 8.7 oz baby to a piece of my skull in my belly. Yet, I'm SOOOOOOOO Lucky! They tell me typically is 2-3 months from the first surgery so I'm not sure if I'll have this done this year or next year. I'm just determined that I don't want it to interfere with Halloween. I look so forward to that every year and I'm determined to take Lindsay trick or treating again this year over at her cousins. The hospital stay for the next surgery could be 3-4 days so I really hope it comes in early November personally. Besides this could be the year I could really do up Halloween myself right?! MIke and I have been joking about getting glow in the dark paint for our scarred up areas! You have to laugh at this kind of stuff to get through it I tell you!
We're off to go put in a visit to LIndsay at her grandparents. Not sure how we're working the big Mommy has to leave but we're going to try it. I'll let you all know how it goes!