This blog has been created for only family, extended family, my Children down the road, people we love that are far away who care about us and not just themselves. Apparenly, Other people are reading way too much into what I write here. You know who you are. Please just enjoy the fun photos of Brooke and Lindsay and don't think you have the right to examine MY life. People in glass houses should not throw stones!
Update apparently there is a certain friend of mine that thinks I should use my blog to vent.
That I purposely try to make my life "look" happy, happy, happy. Well, I tend to think everyone does a little of that personally. I don't have this blog to vent and whine about life. I haven't let all of you know that I lost my job in July. I only got paid short term disability thru 10/31/09. Mike hasn't found a job yet because he's been taking care of me and all my doc appts and physical therapy. The important people KNOW these things! We have to pay COBRA now to keep our insurance up to date. Which is not exactly easy when there is no income and we have medical bills up the wazoo from 2008. If I decide that I want to blog about traveling around the world that should be Mike and my choice. Though it's only wishful thinking...
We have a lot of help from family and church that we GREATLY appreciate!
Showing posts with label vents. Show all posts
Showing posts with label vents. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Friday, September 26, 2008
Moody...
We went to visit Lindsay again tonight and she was fabulous again. It seems that it doesn't even phase her now that we just come visit and then go home. We also got Brooke tonight from her aunt and uncle. We're trying a night at home with her again. It seems that she's eating up to 6oz at a time now and has been sleeping a good seven hours through the night. We'll see how she does here tonight. I haven't seen her in just a week and she looked huge to me again. Days like today I know I should be grateful but I'm pissed off about the time that I've missed. I hate feeling like I don't have the same bond with Brooke that I do with Lindsay. Though I know I shouldn't feel that way because Lindsay is a two year bond and Brooke is only two months and I missed a lot of time with her in that two month period. It somewhat bothers me that Lindsay has just adjusted to living where ever she is. She's SO excited to be going to her Aunt Patti's this weekend and I know she's going to have a blast but she didn't even ask about coming home tonight. I know I should be thankful and glad she didn't and that she doesn't throw a fit when we leave but it's mixed emotions right now. I feel like I've missed a whole summer with her too. Even when we had her home off and on before we had Brooke Mike wasn't well and it isn't like we've done much of anything fun with her this year. Fourth of July was our last family out- ting other than a Sunday morning at Church once Brooke was born. October is quickly approaching and I have a zillion things I want to do this Fall with the girls but I can't plan anything til I see my neurosurgeon on 10/8 and hopefully get cleared to figure out when I'm going to go back to work, cleared to drive, cleared to be on my own again without constant supervision (which I desperately need some alone time but am terrified of it at the same time) It seems that I'm starting to live a lot of the emotional downsides of what all has happened to me and US as a family. I can't thank everyone enough for helping but I am SO ready to go back to what used to be "NORMAL" for us. I've been getting more emotional over that every day. I guess the gall bladder thing helped send me over the edge too. I just don't need another thing to interfere with us getting back to "normal" whatever that is. I have been doing better the last two days with that. I'm not taking any more of the pain meds and have been using Tylenol as needed. I go back to my internist Monday so we'll see what all he has to say about managing it versus having it removed. I just don't want another flair up either. Especially, this close to Brooke's rescheduled Baptism!
Sorry for venting. I'm extremely grateful for the miracle that I'm able to vent here and that overall we're ok over here in sick land. I just need both my girls home and some of the post traumatic stress of the aneurysm to go away!
Sorry for venting. I'm extremely grateful for the miracle that I'm able to vent here and that overall we're ok over here in sick land. I just need both my girls home and some of the post traumatic stress of the aneurysm to go away!
Friday, May 16, 2008
TGIF & Birthday Shout out!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CAROLINE! DOUBLE DIGITS!!! WOOHOOO!!! It's great to be 10!!!
Hope you have a great birthday sweetie!!!
So glad it's Friday people. I was SO happy to end this work week I actually got "veklempt" when I clocked out today! I swear, these days I just want to say BUH BYE to work and just walk away.
Sucks to have to be an adult and worry about things like medical insurance for my family and to have this baby! UGH!!! I seriously keep telling myself to start playing the lottery. I just can't bring myself to do it though.
Anyway, my OB appt yesterday was uneventful as I thought it would be. Got the quick heartbeat check and the belly measure. No "checking" this time which is always a good visit when that isn't involved! LOL! I go back in two weeks, then two weeks again and then it's once a week til the end people!!!! I'm SO counting the days!
We still have no name here. It's getting old calling her "baby" all the time. We thought we might have come up with a compromise and an interesting name but it doesn't seem to going over with the fam. I just wish something would "feel right". I never expected the name thing to be so hard. Some days I feel like I can't make a solid decision about anything anymore. Trying to decide what to eat for dinner these days is a life decision. Oh well, it's the weekend right? THANKFULLY! I'm taking a day off in the middle of the week next week to get caught up and work more on the new room. I need a break. The following week will be another four day week so that will feel good too. I may take advantage of my Mother's Day gift from Mike and Lindsay and go get my Pregnancy Massage on my day off too (after I get some stuff done since I'll be toast afterward)!
I'll be back later to post some new pics so check back and I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Hope you have a great birthday sweetie!!!
So glad it's Friday people. I was SO happy to end this work week I actually got "veklempt" when I clocked out today! I swear, these days I just want to say BUH BYE to work and just walk away.
Sucks to have to be an adult and worry about things like medical insurance for my family and to have this baby! UGH!!! I seriously keep telling myself to start playing the lottery. I just can't bring myself to do it though.
Anyway, my OB appt yesterday was uneventful as I thought it would be. Got the quick heartbeat check and the belly measure. No "checking" this time which is always a good visit when that isn't involved! LOL! I go back in two weeks, then two weeks again and then it's once a week til the end people!!!! I'm SO counting the days!
We still have no name here. It's getting old calling her "baby" all the time. We thought we might have come up with a compromise and an interesting name but it doesn't seem to going over with the fam. I just wish something would "feel right". I never expected the name thing to be so hard. Some days I feel like I can't make a solid decision about anything anymore. Trying to decide what to eat for dinner these days is a life decision. Oh well, it's the weekend right? THANKFULLY! I'm taking a day off in the middle of the week next week to get caught up and work more on the new room. I need a break. The following week will be another four day week so that will feel good too. I may take advantage of my Mother's Day gift from Mike and Lindsay and go get my Pregnancy Massage on my day off too (after I get some stuff done since I'll be toast afterward)!
I'll be back later to post some new pics so check back and I hope everyone has a great weekend!
Monday, April 21, 2008
MOOD SWING
I was SO happy Friday. Went to the OB did my one hour glucose test and it went pretty well. I wasn't as sick the rest of the day as I was when I did it with Lindsay. I got to book all my appointments out til the end of the pregnancy (which was VERY exciting) AND we picked our C-section date. Somehow all of that made me feel like I had accomplished something and I was feeling like I could make it through the home stretch.
Last night I was feeling awful, sinus headache, drainage more of the same I've been dealing with for WEEKS now. I woke up this morning puking again and decided to stay home from work. I'm SO over being sick and was already feeling the downward mood swing when my nurse called and said I FAILED my one hour glucose test. SERIOUSLY???? I never even worried about passing it. Now I have to go back and do the THREE hour test. This entails fasting for 8-12 hours before going into the office. They do a blood draw and then you get to drink a BIGGER nasty drink than the one hour. They then draw your blood every hour for the next three hours for the results. You can't eat until after that and I was STARVING after the one hour test. Not to mention if you get sick (puke) you have to do it all over again. There is NO WAY I can get through that with all this congestion. I know I won't keep it down. She offered to let me put it off until early next week but I have to do it soon because it's supposed to be completed by your 28th week which I am 28 weeks on Sunday.
I know that this really probably doesn't SOUND like the end of the world but in my current state of mind I completely broke down and cried when I hung up the phone. I feel like I just can't catch a break. I know that a lot of people fail the one hour and pass the three hour no problem. BUT....I don't want to assume that since I completely never thought I'd fail the one hour. Oh, and the numbers were close. 130 and under is normal and my number was 159. Just another shot in the jaw thank you. I do worry that because I am not exercising like I was with Lindsay and I started this pregnancy a bit heavier that maybe I will end up diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I know that the point of all of this is to catch it early and take the action
needed to maintain a healthy pregnancy but I just feel pissed off more than anything right now.
I'm trying to look forward to the fact that BON JOVI is a week from this Wednesday. My baby shower is that Saturday after the concert and my blog sister KIM is coming into town for that! I have some good stuff coming up...thankfully.
Anyway, I guess that's the good thing about mood swings....it goes both ways. I could sure use an upswing about now.
Last night I was feeling awful, sinus headache, drainage more of the same I've been dealing with for WEEKS now. I woke up this morning puking again and decided to stay home from work. I'm SO over being sick and was already feeling the downward mood swing when my nurse called and said I FAILED my one hour glucose test. SERIOUSLY???? I never even worried about passing it. Now I have to go back and do the THREE hour test. This entails fasting for 8-12 hours before going into the office. They do a blood draw and then you get to drink a BIGGER nasty drink than the one hour. They then draw your blood every hour for the next three hours for the results. You can't eat until after that and I was STARVING after the one hour test. Not to mention if you get sick (puke) you have to do it all over again. There is NO WAY I can get through that with all this congestion. I know I won't keep it down. She offered to let me put it off until early next week but I have to do it soon because it's supposed to be completed by your 28th week which I am 28 weeks on Sunday.
I know that this really probably doesn't SOUND like the end of the world but in my current state of mind I completely broke down and cried when I hung up the phone. I feel like I just can't catch a break. I know that a lot of people fail the one hour and pass the three hour no problem. BUT....I don't want to assume that since I completely never thought I'd fail the one hour. Oh, and the numbers were close. 130 and under is normal and my number was 159. Just another shot in the jaw thank you. I do worry that because I am not exercising like I was with Lindsay and I started this pregnancy a bit heavier that maybe I will end up diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I know that the point of all of this is to catch it early and take the action
needed to maintain a healthy pregnancy but I just feel pissed off more than anything right now.
I'm trying to look forward to the fact that BON JOVI is a week from this Wednesday. My baby shower is that Saturday after the concert and my blog sister KIM is coming into town for that! I have some good stuff coming up...thankfully.
Anyway, I guess that's the good thing about mood swings....it goes both ways. I could sure use an upswing about now.
Monday, April 7, 2008
Can I just vent for a second???
First of all, I am sick....again. Seriously. I felt great this weekend and now I have Lindsay's latest crud. All day today I started feeling it come on...stuffy head, running nose, scratchy throat and now tonight the COUGH is rearing it's ugly head. I'm SOOOOOOOOOO FREAKING OVER BEING SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes, I'm screaming! Not too mention that I've missed SO much work being sick in the last few months I feel terribly guilty missing any more time but I have to take care of baby too. I'm sure tomorrow I'll drag my behind in and just be more miserable.
I feel like I'm NEVER going to get 100% better again. Or maybe, once I have this baby my immune system can start giving back to me and I can fight all this crud off. It doesn't help that I'm stressed beyond belief at work these days. I am dying to make some changes on that front but seriously...a job interview or a transfer to a new department at six months prego??? I'd be laughed at right? Even though that isn't supposed to factor into it...it does. So I'm trapped, for now. However, I'm on top of it and once this baby is here I'm taking back control. I wish now this blog was a little more anonymous so I could really let loose but I can't. I will say this...KARMA is a wonderful thing. Sort of like a boom-a-rang...mean people will get it back TEN FOLD!
Moving on...you guys all have me TERRIFIED to go back to the ducks! SHEESH! Scary stuff. I could easily see something like that getting out of control. I will definitely be on my mommy guard even more when/if we go back.
Ok...I'm feeling like crud but wanted to hop on quickly and check in with everyone. Thanks for reading my vent.
Not much on tap for this week. Just trying to make it through without losing my mind.
I feel like I'm NEVER going to get 100% better again. Or maybe, once I have this baby my immune system can start giving back to me and I can fight all this crud off. It doesn't help that I'm stressed beyond belief at work these days. I am dying to make some changes on that front but seriously...a job interview or a transfer to a new department at six months prego??? I'd be laughed at right? Even though that isn't supposed to factor into it...it does. So I'm trapped, for now. However, I'm on top of it and once this baby is here I'm taking back control. I wish now this blog was a little more anonymous so I could really let loose but I can't. I will say this...KARMA is a wonderful thing. Sort of like a boom-a-rang...mean people will get it back TEN FOLD!
Moving on...you guys all have me TERRIFIED to go back to the ducks! SHEESH! Scary stuff. I could easily see something like that getting out of control. I will definitely be on my mommy guard even more when/if we go back.
Ok...I'm feeling like crud but wanted to hop on quickly and check in with everyone. Thanks for reading my vent.
Not much on tap for this week. Just trying to make it through without losing my mind.
Monday, June 25, 2007
Need TIME to Blog!
Hello Bloggers,
We had a GREAT weekend. Super busy. It all went very smooth considering we really pushed it to do everything we did! Lindsay was a super traveler once again. She slept quite a bit on the way back from Cordele so she was in a great mood for her party. My nephew is visiting until tomorrow and we also have Lindsay's one year check up today (SHOTS!!! UGH!) so I'll try to get some blog time in tonight if she does ok after those nasty shots!
Updates to come!!
We had a GREAT weekend. Super busy. It all went very smooth considering we really pushed it to do everything we did! Lindsay was a super traveler once again. She slept quite a bit on the way back from Cordele so she was in a great mood for her party. My nephew is visiting until tomorrow and we also have Lindsay's one year check up today (SHOTS!!! UGH!) so I'll try to get some blog time in tonight if she does ok after those nasty shots!
Updates to come!!
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