Friday, October 17, 2008

Decisions...

So here I sit three days post op and other than still being pretty swollen I'm doing very well. I haven't had any pain meds all day today though I feel like I will take something before bed tonight. I managed to get out today for a ride to the bank and the post office with Mike. Aunt KK came over yesterday and helped me wash my hair and clean the incisions (Nice to be friends with people who work in healthcare). I am not supposed to soak the incision on my head, yet I'm still supposed to wash my hair and keep the area clean and dry. Last time I had this incision I was in ICU and they took care of all of this stuff for me so I was a little nervous about this part this time around. It's working out ok though. The surgeon's team was very nice and did not shave all the hair they could have before this surgery. They actually managed to leave a good section of it alone so once my hair covers the scar again it should be fairly normal "GI Jane" looking again. By the time I remember really seeing it last time it had only been a month and it was grown out quite a bit. I'm hoping by Christmas I'll be able to skip wearing the scarves and have some sort of style going on.

So if any of you have any advice on this subject we're trying to figure out when and how to bring Lindsay home for good. It's been suggested to us to get Lindsay first for a few days and then reintroduce Brooke. I want to make sure I'm feeling 100% before we get Lindsay at all so I've been thinking early this next week maybe even Sunday. (Although I want more of my facial swelling to go down too) I think she will be easy to deal with at home and keep her on her basic schedule that she's already on. We're just not sure how she will deal with it when her little sis comes home if she gets too much mommy & daddy time all to herself. Either way I know we'll have jealousy issues, I mean I know I have TWO girls, but we just thought maybe it would be easier to bring Brooke back second since her schedule isn't as set as Lindsay's. We want to make it a big deal for Lindsay that she is coming home but we don't want to over sell it either. Spending time at Grandma and Grandpa's is something we want her to feel ok doing in the future too.

I'm worried about feeling well enough to take care of both girls when Mike is not around and I haven't driven yet since all of this either. I think I need to get some car time in this weekend and get that out of the way. I know I just need more time under my belt to feel "normal" again and to stop worrying about every ache and pain. Of course both girls home will help with that as well, there won't be time to worry! I hate feeling like everything is such a major decision. I just want to go get her and bring her home right now! I miss both of them like crazy but I can't imagine what must go through Lindsay's mind at this age. I want to make her homecoming easy and a HAPPY time for all of us.

3 comments:

Erin Kathleen said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Erin Kathleen said...

Personally, I'd bring them both back together. I'd probably be going to get them right now, but I'm an idiot like that so maybe a few more days might help... We didn't have anyone here when Calli was born (nor when Lana was) and that was our choice. The worst trouble Lana had after Calli was born was after my mom left. Mom figured that since Calli wouldn't remember, she would spend all her time with Lana when Lana was up and just hold Calli and bond with Calli when Lana was sleeping. Problem was that Lana was so used to the one-on-one attention again that after Mom left, I had the worst time ever with Lana acting up. Mom was only here for three days but it was a nightmare afterwards and took us nearly two weeks to get Lana back to her routine. I know it will be hell on you, but I think the adjustment will be easier on the girls if you can bring them home together. Just MHO so take it for what it's worth.

Can you have someone come in and help you maybe for 3-4 hours in the morning? If Lindsay's anything like Lana, she takes a decent nap in the afternoon. If you could have someone helping out from like 9-12 or something so you could rest if you needed to and they could fix lunch, then you could handle putting Lindsay down for a nap and probably dinner if Mike was getting home around then. Otherwise, what about sending her to preschool or daycare or even grandma's a few mornings a week? You know my girls are at the sitter's ever Monday/Friday morning and Lana's at school Tuesdays and Thursdays. The nice thing about the sitter's is that I pick them up at 1ish, but then they take a nap as soon as they get home so I really get until 3:30 or 4:00 to myself those days. And yes, once the girls are home, you won't have time to worry about much of anything. First few months, I was excited if I got a shower in before dinnertime or if I managed to make dinner at all. I think you're not giving yourself enough credit, but I'm not there and I'm not you. Only you know what you can handle and how much.

In the end, you need to do what's right for you and for the girls. You can only do so much so don't try to do more no matter what the idiot from Texas says. The nice thing is that no matter what, it will work itself out. At this age, the girls are changing so fast that this will all be forgotten in a few months. Maybe not forgotten, but a distant memory and they'll be used to each other and their usual routine at home.

Kimmie Kay said...

Chris,

My suggestion is that you bring them both home on the same day but have Linds get home first. This way you can still make a big deal for her, but not give her too much time to forget about Brooke. She's had lots of time away from her already. I know she will get adjusted and so will you and Mike. It will be hard and you know I'm only a phone call away when you get frustrated, but with everything you've already conquered this will be alright. You are stronger than you think, trust yourself as a Mom ok?! I also think having help just might delay what has to happen which is you being alone with both kids while Mike is at work. I hope you can face your fear and do it...it will only be the first time once and you'll get more comfortable.

I understand you wanting to get them both right now, I would too! You have been so patient, brave, and strong for them through all of this. I love, respect, and admire you so much! Call me when you can sis, I miss you!! :)